haven't written in quite some time. Just been doing my own thing.
Well, found out some news... my husband is going to be deployed come next April. :[[[[
It sucks considering i just got back over here in England. Well i was planning on going back home, continue some schooling and be with my family, but my husband came home and notified me today that i cannot do that. According to the military for on base housing, someone has to be occupying the house after 30 days of vacancy or else we lose it, and our things get packed up. To me, I think it's complete bull shit considering we don't have children. I don't see how or why they would make a 21 year old, female, dependant with no kids stay 5000miles away from home. My thoughts are what if i get really sick, something happens to me etc.. no one will know anything for a while until someone checked on me- which who knows how long that would be. I can't finish school over here since im a medical major and medicine in the states and here are completely different, which is weird.. but ya. I mean i could do online stuff for a different degree but thats a waste of time since i wouldnt be using it. Jobs on base are limited and dumb, my base is like 5 miles big.. populatiion 200. it sucks ass. Im just super stressed out right now, i have no idea what to do. My husband is irritated because he wants me to stay here so we dont lose the house but at the same time i dont wanna be here beccause ill be depressed. Honest to God i feel that he doesnt support me furthering my education. He thinks that once i graduate and get my degree that im going to leave him.. which is freaking bull shit. He thinks i didnt want to come back over here to be with him. Again, nonsense- if i didnt want to come back iwouldnt have. I had a stable, decent job, and I got accepted into the university/program i have wanted and i gave that up to be with him. Ive supported everything he does, but any time i want to do something for myself that will better our lives together- even if we are time apart- he throws a damn fit and i just cant handle it. My parents see that he does this and it has pushed them away from him and i feel though dont care for him very much anymore. My siblings are irritated too with me because im not doing what I always said i would do. I know you cant really plan anything in life, life doesnt care about plans.. i just invisioned my life to be wayyy different. Im saddened and have a lot to think about. I wish i could run away.
I have written in a few days, i caught up with some old friends here on base from the last time i was here. that was nice.
yesterday I played soccer with some of my husband's secfo buddies- uhh needless to say just because you're a girl doesn't mean they'll go easy on you. I had the wind knocked out of me and someone kicked the crap out of my shin and now i have a gnarly bruise. on top of that my entire body is so sore, i love it. Let's me know that i was putting it to use. plus i love feeling my muscles tight.
Tonight for dinner I'm going to try to cook salmon for the first time with some pepper, lemon, little butter and seasoning. maybe add some asparagus with mash potatoes. Hopefully it turns out well -.-
It's pretty much rained everyday since i've been here, which honestly i don't mind one single bit since i barely get to see rain in Texas. Speaking of home, i haven't heard from my mom or step dad since Ive been back over here. which is pretty pathetic to me. anytime i called my sister's they were home but mom and dad were out and about. I know for a fact then when i finally do get in contact with them somehow it will be all my fault and that i should "try" harder to be apart of this family. && if i tell my mother it's a two-way road she'll just retort with some lame time difference excuse. Even though she NEVER leaves her Skype logged in except when my step dad is away in Canada for work. it's just frustrating to me- she's become such a lousy parent and i don't know how to approach her about it. Before she got with my step-dad she was so attentive and participated in our lives, actually remembered important things took us on vacation with her rather than just them two. Don't get me wrong i know couples need alone time and time to get away- but every vacation they go on is extravagant and fun and if they were to take my sister's and i somewhere it would be down the road camping, bitching the entire time. Now that I'm older i don't really care as much, but i feel bad for my sister's. They miss having a mom too, and if i bring it up my mom feels like I'm attacking her or criticizing her. I feel like a whiny little bitch right now, complaining about my mom and i probably wouldn't if we hadn't been so close for so long. it's hard to adjust i guess.
well, anyway, ill figure it out. I still need music suggestions. I'm tired of listening to the same crap over and over.
oh ya, i forgot to mention I've lost 3 pounds! not quite sure but I did and I'm quite pleased with myself!
I've run out of things to ramble on about. maybe ill write tomorrow. have a good day y'all
Made it to England- urrgghhh thank heavens. That plane ride is not enjoyable what-so-ever. I get so antsy sitting down for so long. Plus, the damn plane i was on was old as hell. I didnt have a TV on my head rest, no foot rest and no A/C knob to adjust the temperature. I couldn't find the earphone plug in to listen to what weird movie they were playing anyway. I sat next to a man who was a regular chatty kathy- and didnt chat very loudly so i had to keep asking him what he was saying. He probably thought i was slow.
Weather is really refreshing. When I left Dallas it was 104 out and i came here to 60. It was a wee bit nipply for me haha.
Decorated my house, somewhat, today.. well yesterday seeing that it is 2:30am right now ( i cant sleep.. jetlag is a bitch) It looks super homey and i love it.
I found a store that's only a few miles down the road that is basically hobby lobby ohhhh my goodness i cannot wait to venture on in.
My husband and i decided to start a better eating life style and eat better with regular exercise. since the base gym is closed on Sunday's i figured id take a little jog around base, considering it's only 3 miles. I'll put my exercise activity in my blog- use it as a motivation type.
I guess today while my husband is at work I'll finish unpacking and do laundry, Im trying to convince him to get me a dog to keep me company since uhh a baby is way out of the picture right now.
Anyone on pinterest? I'm addicted it's pathetic.
I still need music suggestions! Im open to anything, honestly. I'm a musician so any type of music hits the soul depending on the mood.
Thinking about getting a new tattoo, but im so indecisive i can never make up my mind!
anyway, i have nothing else better to do and ive run out of thoughts, a little a netflix and the parent trap it is.
Last full day in America today. I'm going to miss home very much. Sweet tea, BBQ, REAL Mexican food, Big trucks, Texas country music, Texas heat, southern hospitality and blue bell ice cream. But those are only a few things. For any of you non-Texans or never have been, if you get the opportunity make sure you go to San Antonio and try REAL Mexican food- not Taco Cabana, Chuy's or any other chains. It will change your life. and if you've never had real BBQ head on down to little ol' Lockhart, Texas. BBQ capital of the world ;] but seriously.. some damn good BBQ, I think their BBQ has been on one of those food destination shows.
On a terrible note.. a damn bomb threat was phoned in for 3 cars about an hour ago at SAT international airport -.-. that would happen the day before i leave. Needless to say, my anxiety level will be through the roof tomorrow.
Once I arrive in England I wanna make a mad dash to the Tower Bridge to see the Olympic circles hanging from it. I think that will be amazing to see! i'll be sure to post pictures if i do :]
I've been trying to get into some new music to listen to, change up my play list a bit. what are some of your favorite bands or songs that i should listen to?
I was going to go for a run this afternoon but this 101 degree weather changed my mind, ill get my exercise in tonight, though. My closest girlfriends and i are going to head to Cowboys Dance hall and get our two steppin' and line dancin' on! Super stoked.
Anyway, only a little over 24 hours when i reunite with my husband. it's been a long, hard 8 months. I'm nervous, anxious, overwhelmed and beyond excited. I have butterflies :]
Well i hope y'all have a good rest of your day, enjoy it and embrace it. I'll write again once I arrive!
Last night I had my going away dinner with my closest best friend's- I know i will see them again before I leave on Thursday.. but still, it's hard. These people have been there and seen me at my worst and best. I hate goodbye's, I'll think of it as see you later.
I moved all of my final things out of my apartment, kind of a bittersweet moment. Closing up one chapter being independent and out of my mom's house and starting a new journey and enjoying marriage with my sweet husband. I'm hoping for the best and scared at the same time. He might get deployed next year in April, which anyone affiliated with military knows how nerve wracking that is.
I need to start getting back into shape. I played soccer in high school and was in the best shape of my life. I had a minor knee injury during a game and ever since then my knee gives me problems if I run too much or even standing too long. It's unfortunate since I love to run, but the pain is a preventive. I need to find other good cardio workouts to do that won't put a strain on it. I've also been trying to do yoga, talk about a workout but i love it!
I also want to start eating better, I honestly don't really like vegetables but i know i need to eat them :/ For my salads I usually substitute lettuce with spinach and if i use lettuce i use romaine, i heard it's better for you?..
Anyone know of any types of food that are good for metabolism increase and a good energy source, I've been trying to cut back on caffeine like coffee and tea and my energy has been kinda absent since.
Well I'm off to run errands, until next time cyber friends.